I will start by saying that I’m a vegetarian. Now before you run from the hills this is not an attempt to “convert” any of you, this is just a rant about why I do what I do because I am a veggie who eats meat. I know “vegetarians” who eat fish and others happy to plough through a packet of Haribo so it shouldn’t be too much of a shock (yes Haribo, it turns out the reason kids and grown ups love it so is the dead pig in their Starmix!). At this point I want to make it clear that while I might tease my friends about it, I don’t think it is right to judge anyone on the degree of their vegetarianism. Whatever someone has decided they have made an active decision and it is easier to say veggie than ovo/lacto/pisco/haribo-vegetarian (or any other name on the scale from carnivore to vegan).
When pregnant with me my mother went off meat and by the time she had my brother four years later had gone veggie. No ethical consideration for the little critters, she just didn’t like the taste or texture. At the age of 7 I decided that I would be vegetarian too. A bold move in the late eighties, before middle-class people made it fashionable! It was only when friends asked “Mummy, can David come for tea?” that I realised how odd this seemed to others. Confusion and panic followed from mums who had to feed me. Having had the faithful chicken nuggets/fish fingers/burger options cruelly swiped away parents would ask “so what does he eat” to which the truthful answer was anything else… and lots of it.
Like my dreams of being a footballer this was a phase which passed and, much to the delight of my friends’ parents, I started eating meat again about a year later. Time passed and my love of food saw some meaty highlights (a phrase I never thought I’d write!). I enjoyed steak tartare in a Parisian café, ate home-made rabbit and thyme burgers in the summer and of course there’s the foot-long Italian BMT. For the uninitiated this is a thing of beauty; an exquisite ménage of three meats which provides an unforgettable, mind-altering taste explosion of continental meat delight (all with your personal choice of salad, sauce and bread!). During this time I also learned the fundamental art of butchery and had a less enjoyable time mastering fishmongery.
With all this behind me (and my dedication to a particular Subway roll) it might seem odd that a few years ago I started to question what I ate and where it came from. On little more than a whim I decided to not eat red meat. A half-baked notion of coronary and colonic health carelessly sprinkled with ethics seemed to hold together an idea that essentially had no impact at all; well not unless you count my health! At a time when I was training pretty hard, eating lots and sleeping well I was inexplicably lethargic and sluggish. It was at this point that I looked at my eyes in the mirror and it didn’t take much to see I was anaemic, so I made myself a big bowl of beef chilli and felt much better. This was also when I finally had enough of chicken breasts. Tasteless and watery, taking whatever flavour you give them but providing little but protein they are a selfish foodstuff. They took the focus of my anger because they were tasteless for the very reason they were unethical, because factory farming had forced the animal to grow too big too quickly.
If I was to make a meaningful change it had to be considered properly this time. So what did it look like and how did I get there? Firstly I decided that I didn’t want to cut out meat completely. My scientific brain was telling me that as a species we have the teeth and digestive system for it and we’re part of nature’s food chain (whilst the rest of my brain was imagining a veggie lion explaining to the rest of the pride why it had declined their kind offer of wildebeest). We are hunter-gatherers but hunting has been made a whole lot easier since supermarkets came along and we replaced spears with debit cards. Our old ways of killing, gorging then living off nuts and berries until the next kill have been replaced by a ham roll for lunch and chicken for dinner. I was formulating a plan; I would eat meat, but once every 6-8 weeks. Many of you are aware of my usual SUPER SCIENTIFIC APPROACH but to be honest this just sounded about right for me so it stuck. I knew that supermarket meat was out of the question so I would source locally and ethically asking honest questions of the people who produced it. I became an Ethical Omnivore™!
Having proven that I could manage my diet and stick to the veggie lifestyle for 3 months I went to my local farmers market (I know, I know, but I had to start somewhere) and began asking questions about some lovely looking sausages. After I’d found out where they’d come from, how the animals were kept and what they were fed I then asked (not wanting him to think I was taking myself too seriously) “were they happy pigs?”. The answer had me sold; he said without hesitation “they were happy on Tuesday” so I bought them and they tasted great.
From that day I haven’t looked back. Keeping to the rules I set, I have expanded my list of suppliers as word-of-mouth takes me to another local provider of ‘happy meat’.
