To my
beloved volunteer management,
I want
you to know that I love you, that deep in my heart I think I will always love
you. You have given me the most amazing three years of my life and our time
together has meant everything to me. I have to admit that we have had our ups
and downs, people haven’t always believed in us but when I look back they were
never the ones who really mattered. You have introduced me to some amazing
people who have changed and inspired me and supported the relationship
throughout our journey and without these people we might not have got to where
we are. With you I have grown as a person, had some amazing experiences and
together we have had a lot of fun.
It lies
heavy on my heart that I must now say goodbye. Victims of circumstance we must
now part, a difficult decision but I feel like it is the only way. We might
have had a chance at another time but just now it doesn’t seem to be working. I
have come to realise that I need certain things from a relationship that you
don’t seem able to give me. I need a full time commitment, someone to tell me I’m
needed and that I don’t need to move heaven and earth to be with them. I know
you have other priorities but you need to understand that my opinion counts.
Hearing it from other people is fine but I need to hear it from you. I hope you
see that I have fought for us. I have tried. But something always gets in the
way. I have been prepared to go the extra mile, to go further and compromise to
fit in with what you want but I don’t see you doing the same. You want me to
move, to leave my family and friends behind or travel to London and beyond
without offering enough in return.
It wasn’t
as if we didn’t have chemistry, we worked together and I can’t escape that, but
I have to look after myself and move on. Sometimes I get the feeling that you
don’t understand me, that you are so focused on making money or investing in
other relationships that I have no say in what happens. I need someone who will
nurture me and let me shine and I get the feeling there are others out there
who are doing that without wanting so much in return. The fact that I have
given my time to you yet expected nothing in return should show how much you
mean to me but it feels like it isn’t enough and that has been tough to accept.
I suppose
what I’ve learned recently is that it wasn’t you giving me strength but the
opportunity to show how strong I am naturally, and that doesn’t rely on you.
I’m not
saying never, I’m just saying not now.
Good
luck.
D xx
